Money and Debt Jokes

Here's a collection of some funny money and debt jokes found online.

A married couple both lost their jobs at the factory, and were having a hard time finding new jobs. Unfortunately, their mounting credit card debt required some immediate income. The wife suggested that she could whore herself out, but her husband was a little less than thrilled about the prospect. But financial necessities got the best of her, and she went behind her husband's back to go whoring. She came back one night with a huge wad of cash, and fessed up to her hubby. He was upset, but asked how much she made.
"$398.10," she said.
"Who paid ten cents?" he asked.
"Everybody."

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A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, there wouldn't be any "we" in the first place."

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While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems. " "Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now? "They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can. " The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me. " The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret. "

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Will Rogers, having paid too much income tax one year, tried in vain to claim a rebate. His numerous letters and queries remained unanswered. Eventually the form for the next year's return arrived. In the section marked "DEDUCTIONS," Rogers listed: "Bad debt, US Government -- $40,000. "

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A couple of friends meet after a long time:
"I divorced my wife." One says.
"Really? How did you do it?"
"We hired a lawyer who helped divide the assets and stuff."
"What about the kids?"
"Well,...we've decided that whoever got more money would also take the kids."
"That sounds fair. And who got them?
"The lawyer."

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"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."

"That's very nice, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself."

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"Money is not everything." But there is VISA & Mastercard.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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